Today’s helping from The Spam Tin features some extra-curricular over indulgence in the form of hopeful Russian bride-to-be Ebba.
The following email was kindly passed onto me by her “friend” Suzanne Coker.
As usual the following email includes my own reply to Ebba, which I hope to be the first of many as our romance unfolds like a beautiful flower.
- Hello from a pretty single girlie!!!!
Hello from a dashing, English gentleman.
- I was searching the net and came across your profile
I hope you didn’t leave a stain…
- I am 26, I like to meet new people and i like travelling a lot! I live in Russian Federation but I`m going to travel overseas for work soon!
I am 52, I like to meet new people too. I’m not much of a traveller but I like my mind to wander and dream of what might cum. I do enjoy a little “roaming” though.
- I just don’t know where to begin.. I am attaching a picture of me.
Thank you but sadly the digital artifacts in the picture make it difficult to see your face properly but if I cross my eyes and stare really intensely I can see an image of dolphins! It’s really beautiful.
- You will make my day if you like the picture and decide to reply back to me.
I consider it an honour you contacted me in the first instance, so I kindly repay this privilege by replying to you… even though staring at the dolphins has made my lazy eye jitter and spasm like an ewok on acid.
- I feel very lonely at times and i am looking for a man who can bring me to the new emotions!
Here’s one for you: ;-o
- Reply and I will send you more photoes of me!!!
Are photoes part of the potato family? If so you may be interested in a photoe of my King Edward which is joined in a happy union with my family member. I prefer a King Edward to a Prince Albert as I find the starch heals the wounds far quicker.
- My hear is beginning to beat much faster because I am getting impatient waiting for your reply!
Pardon?
- I am writing this from my friends email address, so make sure you do not reply directly to this email directly. Email me at: Ebba@rtutnation.com only. Because if you don’t use my personal email address then I won’t be able to read your reply and write back to you as I won’t be visiting my friend whos address I am currently using to write you this. It is very important that you get it right.
I find this very complicated indeed as I am a little slow but I ran it past my man servant whom confirmed that if I didn’t reply back to you then you would not indeed be able to read my reply and then reply back to me so I can read your reply and then respond accordingly.
- Hope to hear from you as soon as possible. Can’t wait to see your reply.
I too am moist at the prospect.
Love and hugs,
Jimmy Changga
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