Posts Tagged 'caribbean'

Caribbean Job Offer!

Mr Frank Micro writes:

  • My name is Mr. Frank Micro, I am the manager of an antique and fabric company here in the United Kingdom My company’s name is CJS Antiques Ltd. I am contacting you because we are in need of Payment Representative in the United States/Canada, Jamaica . So I would like to offer you a part time job as our payment Representative. 
[apply heavy Jamaican accent here] “Wow dat is bahrilliant news mon, why down’t we seal da deal wit some heavy rum?”
“Dis job, wha’s shakin’?”

  • Your Role as a Payment Rep: 
“I ‘as been a reppin’ sin I was a babba, if ya know’s what I is a sayin’.  P Diddy is a quakin’ each time he is a ‘earing me beats”.
  • 1. Receive payment from Clients 
“Yea, yea, stick the cash in me sak n chill”.
  • 2. Deposit Payments in your account at your Bank 
“I don’t ave one of dose bank tings, I just preferrin’ to build up me credit down de crab shack and get me some laundered stuff or a meaty snack.  Yo dig?”
  • 3. After 24 hours in which funds have cleared into your account, proceed to your bank for withdrawal of funds 
“Time is much slower ‘ere in Jamaica mon, you gotta chill wit da breze.  Minitz become hours and hours become dayz. Ya turn around too fast you get alllll spinny”.

  • 3. Deduct 10% percent which will be your percentage/pay on Payment processed. 
“10% suck a little.  I think some negotiation is a needed…. I’l take 5.”
  • 4. Forward balance after deduction of percentage/pay to any of the Offices you will be contacted to send payment to (Payment is to be Forwarded either By MoneyGram / Western Union Money Transfer)
“Money tends to move over ‘ere on de island by Lil’ Bill.  Takes a while on ‘is bike, but he only buys tree ice screams along de way from de money for his cut, so he is cool”.

  • If you are interested in our offer, and would like to work for our company kindly send an email with the requested details below: 
“Allriight letz talk.”
  • Full Name: 
“Syd Snape”

  • Residential Mailing Address: 
“3rd hut under de cliff, Pidgeon Beach, South Jamaica”

  • Home Tel: 
“I don’t know where Tel lives, ‘e just kina moves around ja know.”
  • Cell: 
“I ‘aint goin’ back der mon!”

  • Sex: 
“If Johanna is a passin’ maybe…”

  • Age: 
“She’s a young 62”

  • Present Occupation 
“You said I is a payment rep???”
  • NOTE: Providing your details confirms that you are ready to work for my company and fully understands your duties for the company as a payment representative.
“I is ready amigo, I just need anudder 10 minz under dis mango tree”


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