Archive for the 'viagra' Category

The Davinci Cock

Today this from the inbox of Claggy – Enjoy these pastel tints! And the mysterious bold ‘A’! What can it all mean? Perhaps spam is just one giant code for us to crack?”

Hei,


V GI A G R A

See how the mysterious bold A’ draws your eye in.  Look beyond the pastel shades and find… a link to the saviour of your frustrations!

Maybe they should turn it into a competition?  Crack the code, win crack for your cock!

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Penis 2.0

penis 2.0

Today I’ve been invited to “Update your penis”, which got me to thinking…

If there really was some miracle pill or pump device which could revolutionize my dick what would Penis 2.0 really look like?

Penis 2.0 would include:

  • greater flexibility
  • 2 eyes for glorious 3D!
  • viagra on demand
  • removable layers for switching religions
  • built in RSS feed so that subscribers can know when you are horny
  • user login prevent unwanted access in times of drunken status
  • downloadable updates (watch out for viruses though)

Human Friendly

Spam-buddy Zondervanamo writes:

Dear Spam Tin
 
I find the below reassuring – usually these med shops only cater for farm animals and plant life.
 
Regards, Z

Quality, pure medication goods! 100 % human friendly. http://www.spikemyspike.com/

(web address modified to protect the not so innocent)

Return to the past!

This surprisingly well crafted image snuck into my inbox today direct from the talented palette of little Bette Wiechman who has prescribed me to “Make love to your woman 2-3 times a day”.

This wartime style art harks back to a time when messages were obvious, signals were clear and a man knew that the only instruction he had to follow was not to fire off his bulging weapon too soon for fear of return fire landing all over his face.

Ironically Spam was the staple diet for the majority of Americans during the second world war as it wasn’t rationed, exactly the time when you may have seen an ad like this… but probably for something more like boot polish instead of cock pills.

God bless you Bette Wiechman for your raunchy retro rocket rudeness!

 

wartime spam

 

A true godsend to your little soldier of love

Today’s tinful comes from the highly regarded Giovanni Balestrino, who muses:

  • Do you think you can’t improve what nature gave you? 

That bitch Nature gave me an almighty shove from the top of the ugly tree and pinwheeled me against every branch on the way down.  So yes I would love to improve.

  • We will make you change your mind! 

Sounds a bit like a fascist regime or some kind of brainwashing… tell me more!

  • Consider our method as your fastest and safest way to huge dimension! 

Wow, a dimensional shift is huge!  After this operation will people be able to see me in glorious 3D? If so do I need to supply those red and green specs to everyone I meet?  Could be expensive.

  • Images from a seismic survey has shown the crater is A spokeswoman for the organising committee told theretrieved during a drilling mission surrounding the

Really?  A woman with an oversized cavity having issues during a drilling mission?  I’d recommend an echo scan and see what comes back.

 

Best fishes,

Edwardo Bass

Spam by Numbers

Little Gracie Corley has sent us the equivalent of a game of spam sudoku.  She writes:

wA4V1544023357526242848878749287522455196755056595514092387

79635098598374900449290290496970270838979810924615033729518

87034747183397177604235827554269464664785242175789566075068

0933446714153725005937071298928574629439154188423CMZLS60544

46979944921592622186051629495092736021585506220248899452080

35178493113901295103419936382645649238014584735683027912579

00669947815972885893977253313019783068617375290545772151757

17629959138534746371131233538858170567392674323590511490245

34423975635600425494018806540785585Zl0418200258269081500177

4126477044746707393387411283175285Ge

Wow, Gracie you sure have excelled yourself today.  Is it a record attempt at the longest prime number ever formed by the human hand?  Or maybe the simple beginnings of an equation for creating the perfect latte?  Who knows but the image you sent through depicting the results is priceless…

 

Now I get it, it’s actually a formula for growing women from the hairiest parts of the male body.  In this instance one from the armpit and one from each nipple.

My recommendation to you young man is to get those giggling tumorous whores surgically removed before you are arrested for polygamy.  You may be smug now but when those folic-ally formed bints strip you of everything you own you will wish you had drowned in your own sea of tempestuous love.

 

Best wishes,

Engelbert McWhirter

 

(Today’s spam supplied direct from the mailbox of friend to The Spam Tin, zondervanemo)

Much ado about herbal express

Today Mohammed-Vakker writes:

  • Elongate the trouser snake into the monster python you’ve always deserved.
Thanks Mohammed, if nothing else you’ve given me a great idea for some characters in a medieval horror, sex romp.  Imagine the poster with me if you will…
“Elongate the Trouser Snake and Monster Python in ‘Carnival of The Forked Tongue’ – see it in glorious VHS!”
Mohammed you sure brought the mountain to my trousers.