Johnny Ball has finally gone completely cahoots and sent me this! What is the spam world coming to when spam needs celebrity endorsement?
Archive for the 'spam' Category
1 in 12,500,000 Can’t be Wrong!
Published November 12, 2008 spam , spam news Leave a CommentTags: sales, spam, spam report, spamming, storm botnet
ccording to a new study, spam emails get 1 response in 12,500,000 emails. That’s less than 0.00001%! Amazingly though, even with such a poor response a large spam organisation such as the Storm Networkwill make around £4500 profit a day.
Compare this to the general sales market who will on average get one sale in one hundred people and the stats look even more outlandish.
So is spamming the answer to all our sales problems? Nope. For everyday businesses there are worldwide laws that prohibit us from spamming without prior consent from the recipient. Even the junk mail that falls through your door has been loosely authorised by your good self and a helpful 3rd party (remember that tick box at the bottom of that magazine subscription form which said something along the lines of “I authorise you or a 3rd party to fill my mailbox with guff”?). It is a fine line between what is legal and what is illegal but a common way to spam is to use indirect linking which takes you to a webpage with a banner ad for the product on it and not directly to the manufacturers site.
So how do we get people to sign up for our marketing campaigns? In whatever campaigns your run you need to create a hook which will mean people will give you their contact details. There are many examples of this and you just need to pick the right one for your business, from running a competition to giving something away for free. The bottom line is when you’ve been granted access to contact someone, then it is a free license to bombard them until they say stop.
The Spam Tin does not condone spamming in any way, but without it there would be even less content on this blog!
650.000.000 reasons not to…
Published June 28, 2008 investment opportunity , money moving , spam Leave a CommentTags: money spam
Today Zondervanamo is a little bit richer and has shared his winnings with The Spam Tin.
- Greetings!
- I have been waiting for you to contact me eversince for your Certified Bank Draft of 650.000.00 USD that you won from the Online Draw, but I did not hear from you.
Alas I was a little confused by the number of decimal places in the figure quoted and neglected to respond. I don’t get out of bed for less than a 1000.000.000 you see. Plus being a cockney means I only understand slang terms like “monkey” and “pony”.
- Then I went and deposited the Draft with FEDEX COURIER SERVICE, West Africa. I am out of the country for the past four weeks on a 4 month course and i will not be back till end of September.
- What you have to do now, is to contact FEDEX COURIER as soon as possible to enable them deliver your package to you because of the expiring date.For your information.
I called the number you gave me and I spoke with a man called Fred Ex and he was most helpful. He explained that there are around 650 ponies and 8 monkeys in the package.
- I have paid for the delivering Charge, Insurance premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the Cheque showing that it is not a Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack in your Country.
Yes but Fred Ex told me that your “first class” stamp didn’t cover it, I now need to bring in a specialist heavy haulage company with compartments big enough to separate the monkeys and the ponies.
- The only money you will send to the FEDEX COURIER to deliver your Draft direct to your postal Address in your country is (320.00USD). Again, don’t be deceived by anybody to pay any other money except 320.00USD.
Do you mean a “dolphin”? This is just getting out of hand, Fred Ex has been seriously injured when trying to stop a monkey from scratching his eyes out he fell over, got trampled by a pony and kicked into a water tank full of dolphins.
He is in a bad state and I fear we will be hearing from his lawyers.
Next time don’t bother contacting me for anything less than a manatee.
Regards,
Don Ping.
Penis 2.0
Published June 18, 2008 medical , penis enlargement , spam , spam art , viagra Leave a CommentTags: ideas, penis 2.0, spam thinking, viagra
Today I’ve been invited to “Update your penis”, which got me to thinking…
If there really was some miracle pill or pump device which could revolutionize my dick what would Penis 2.0 really look like?
Penis 2.0 would include:
- greater flexibility
- 2 eyes for glorious 3D!
- viagra on demand
- removable layers for switching religions
- built in RSS feed so that subscribers can know when you are horny
- user login prevent unwanted access in times of drunken status
- downloadable updates (watch out for viruses though)
Songs in the key of Spam
Published June 12, 2008 musical spam , spam , spam art Leave a CommentTags: cd, spam art, spam music
Have you ever read the subject line of a spam mail and felt the need to burst into song? These artists have and as a result they have published their musings on a CD. Check out “Outside the Inbox” and get down with songs such as “Do You Measure Up” and “Erik, Someone Wants to Date You”
It’s truly inspired.
Mr Frank Micro writes:
- My name is Mr. Frank Micro, I am the manager of an antique and fabric company here in the United Kingdom My company’s name is CJS Antiques Ltd. I am contacting you because we are in need of Payment Representative in the United States/Canada, Jamaica . So I would like to offer you a part time job as our payment Representative.
- Your Role as a Payment Rep:
- 1. Receive payment from Clients
- 2. Deposit Payments in your account at your Bank
- 3. After 24 hours in which funds have cleared into your account, proceed to your bank for withdrawal of funds
- 3. Deduct 10% percent which will be your percentage/pay on Payment processed.
- 4. Forward balance after deduction of percentage/pay to any of the Offices you will be contacted to send payment to (Payment is to be Forwarded either By MoneyGram / Western Union Money Transfer).
- If you are interested in our offer, and would like to work for our company kindly send an email with the requested details below:
- Full Name:
- Residential Mailing Address:
- Home Tel:
- Cell:
- Sex:
- Age:
- Present Occupation
- NOTE: Providing your details confirms that you are ready to work for my company and fully understands your duties for the company as a payment representative.
Human Friendly
Published May 31, 2008 medical , spam , viagra Leave a CommentTags: human testing, medication, spam
Spam-buddy Zondervanamo writes:
Quality, pure medication goods! 100 % human friendly. http://www.spikemyspike.com/
(web address modified to protect the not so innocent)