Archive for April, 2008



Medical Doctor Database in the US

Today’s helping of spam was delivered by the unashamed quill of Vivian Masterson.  She writes:

 

  • Here’s what we’re offering for this week: Board Certified Medical Doctors in the USA 
How much are these Board Certified Medical Doctors and how many do I get in a pack?
  • 788,770 in total * 17,658 emails
Those numbers just don’t add up, can you run them again please?
  • 34 primary and secondary specialties
I’m only interested in primary as I don’t do sloppy seconds.
  • Can easily be sorted by 16 different fields
Corn? Wheat? Barley?
  • 47,000 names and emails of the major positions
I had a book on the Karma Sutra which showed me the positions too, it was pretty cheap actually as it was a soiled second…  I know, I know, I don’t do sloppy seconds.
  • Hospitals in the United States
  • American Dentists
  • Chiropractors in the USA
  • Now priced at: $395 for all listed above

$395 for a hospital filled with doctors, dentists and chiropractors?  Sounds like a bargain.

If you can come back to me with an immediate response to all my questions I’d say we have a deal!

 

Best wishes,

 

Claggy Derriere

Apologies but here it is…

Today’s spam comes from little Benito.

Dear Benito, before you begin I’d just like to say that your subject line “Apologies but here it is” is a little backwards in coming forward. Don’t apologize for something I haven’t even read yet, you could put off many potential clients by dropping the seed of doubt into their minds that what you’ve sent out is actually a crock of old shit before you’ve even begun.

  • Take delivery of a substantial cut on your pills safe characters, prime quality.

I hear “safe characters” are all the rage, do you have any in bondite blue?

  • whopping range, including backbreaking to find drugs 0 prior doctors approval indispensable.

I’m not sure about breaking any backs to fill my cracks. Are these drugs particularly heavy? Or maybe you sell in such large quantities that everytime you ship a load out of your Columbian sweatshop you snap a few vertebrae getting them onto the fleece-wagons?

  • Here I am, on a cannibal island, hundreds of miles from civilization, with no way to get back, he reflected Now it’s blue, complained the horse

Errrr.

This horse, is he a bondite blue?  If so we can negotiate.

 

Best wishes,

 

Jimmy Changa

Investment Opportunities!

The Spam Tin begins with a most fortuitous opportunity from little Tom Sliva. A golden opportunity indeed as he has even supplied an email address for me to respond to… results here hopefuly in a few days.

Here is my response to Tom which includes his original mail.

Dear Tom,

I feel I must begin by thanking you warmly for this heart-felt email, for it is indeed not often I get moist on my cheeks from such a moving tale. Your problems have touched me in ways so unimaginable I can barely begin to comment but no matter how difficult I will try.

  • My name is Tom Sliva, I am 22 years old boy. I lost my parents and my only brother of 19 years to the war in my country. I am lucky that I was taken to this country Cote d’Ivoire by some good sameritans who have families here in Ivory coast.

I am truly sorry to hear of your loss. I too have visited the Ivory Coast recently on a hunting trip for the tusks of a mammalian sperm otter. Those little rascals sure are truly hard to catch and if you don’t handle them using a Bavarian leatherette monkey sock you run the risk of snapping of their little erdections completely!

  • I am from sierra leone but residing in Ivory Coast west Africa now, I would like to appeal to you confidentialy to assist me concerning my late father’s deposit in a (security firm) Financial Institution here in Abidjan of $10,000,000 ( Ten million USD) I want to move out of here because the crisis that started here for years now is still on, and there is no sign that it will end soon. Also my condition in this country is not condusive for me.

Tom, you seem to have missed out which security firm this deposit is with, suggesting instead an angular generalization on your text ? Perhaps you could fill in the blanks for me as the kind of money you are pontificating about can be easily passed through my horse recycling firm within a working day.

  • Can I trust you to help me retrieve the treasure from the (security firm) Financial Institution as my (foriegn partner) foreign business associate and also provide a place for me to stay in your country? Can I also trust you to safe keep this fund and also help me invest this fund in a profitable business in your country when this money get to you?

You can indeed trust me Tom, when it comes to finding treasure I am your man. I once completed the great Constantinople treasure hunt in less than 12 parsecs!

I run a number of different businesses so it would be easy for me to invest your money wisely within one of them. In terms of capital return I would heartily recommend my chutney ferret packing service as the annual retention has to be seen to be believed! Or if you would rather invest in a charity I can vouch for the Queen’s own “Bidets for Midgets” scheme.

  • If you are willing to help me please indicate in your next mail.

I am willing and most able to help, in fact I consider it my duty.

  • I will discuss with you some details, Let me know also from you what will you deduct from the total money after the funds is transfer to you

My handling charge would be somewhere in the region of $69.97 as I can claim no more due to the hard-nosed tax men we have over here.

  • Do please furnish me with the information below for easy processing of the transfer;
  • Your contact Telephone number……….
  • Contact address…………..

Unfortunately I cannot give out such details upon first contact. A response to this mail would guarantee to me your honesty and sincerity, which would then mean we can progress to second base.

  • God bless you.

And you Tom Sliva, and all who sail in you.

I eagerly await your response.

Yours Faithfuly

Annette Benefit

 

Welcome to The Spam Tin

Welcome indeed to the new home of spam on the world wide web.

Spam Tin

This site is dedicated to all the great spam mail in the world, a repository if you like, nay a haven for the best, most highly crafted spam the world has ever seen.

It’s the only site in the world where you will find an idiot who wants to be spammed, relentlessly and without mercy.

Yes, please SEND ME YOUR SPAM!

I’m not after the day in day out invariably different yet still the same spam about Cialis, I’m looking for a much more hand-crafted experience, something sent specially to get my attention and evoke a response.

The Spam Tin is the only place where the spammers can get spammed and the results will appear here.

This is a call to action, The Spam Tin needs you my friends.  Spam me with your best spams, including if possible the reply email address for the spammer and I shall shower them with glory, live here on this blog.

Brilliant!


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