Today Mohammed-Vakker writes:
- Elongate the trouser snake into the monster python you’ve always deserved.
Spamming the Spammers
Today Mohammed-Vakker writes:
It’s not all bad news and humour from a simpleton here at The Spam Tin. Sometimes I’d really like to show spam being used positively.
Lovely Spam uses the spam collected in the developers inbox and turns it into a constantly evolving piece of art.
Enjoy.
Today casino lovin’ Madge Light otherwise known as “Lady Flaps” kindly informs us:
The beauty of having a spam blog is that I receive lots of blog spam (actually that’s true of any blog). This little number is from everyone’s friend Phil Vance. He writes:
In today’s episode little Monu Pathak explains how he can make me more visible. Apparently he also sees dead people.
SEO SERVICES
Dear Sir/Madam,
Is your Site Optimized with the Google latest methodology called LSI to Rank High???
I’m not too sure but I did see an episode of CSI last week in which Grisham got promoted.
Does your Site Rank Low???
Yes, it’s really hanging.
Do you have less traffic on your site???
Who is this Les Traffic? Is he a menace?
Our Steps and the Activities will Rank You Smart
Yes please, rank me good. Are you oriental perchance?
Please Note: This mail is not a spam and is being sent by an Individual. If you don’t intend to accept it, kindly revert back and we will remove you from the list for no further communication.
Define spam for me please. Did I ask for you to send me this?
If yes then continue else goto hell.
Kind regards,
Wally Wick
A quickie today that comes from little Deja, who writes:
Dear Deja,
Thank you for your offer and I appreciate your concern but… Nicole Richie? Who the hell wants to look like that scrawny, malnutritioned bitch?
Kindest regards,
Today’s helping from The Spam Tin features some extra-curricular over indulgence in the form of hopeful Russian bride-to-be Ebba.
The following email was kindly passed onto me by her “friend” Suzanne Coker.
As usual the following email includes my own reply to Ebba, which I hope to be the first of many as our romance unfolds like a beautiful flower.
Hello from a dashing, English gentleman.
I am 52, I like to meet new people too. I’m not much of a traveller but I like my mind to wander and dream of what might cum. I do enjoy a little “roaming” though.
Hot from my mailbox is this little nugget from my dear old mate Tom Silva. He took the bait from last Wednesday and has at least responded but unfortunately not quite in the manner that I’d hoped for. It’s all a little bit too generic you see. I shall endeavor to evoke a better response this time.
Take two:
Thanks for your response to my email and your assurance that i can rely on you.
Tom. For you, anything. I feel we have now moved on to the brotherly stage and I know that it won’t be long before I can nurture you with my financial teat.
Jealousy is at the root of all hostility. I never allow my roots to show and using techniques that are “just for men” I can keep them that way!
I had a wicked uncle once who kept me locked in a tower until I had spun him a yarn of infinite testosterone. He hurt me deepr than you can imagine.
As I explained in my mail last week I own and operate many businesses, which I run under the cover of my day job which sees me packing fudge for Cadbury’s. I have been married 3 times and I love all my wives very much. We all live together in a lovely big bungalow happily practicing the art of polygamy. Between us we have 11 children, many of which have an above average IQ. Willfred is probably the most special child due to his extremely happy nature which is surprising as he has a excessive amount of extra nipples located on his inner thigh. We love him just the same.
My assistant, Mr. Jingles is available for an extra fee. I can contact him if you like, maybe we could have a conference call together?
I hear your urgency and I tried ringing the number a couple of times but unfortunately all I got was the speaking clock and the second time I tried I could smell a strong day-old deposit which made me feel rather queasy I’m afraid so I gave up.
Tom, I feel your urgency but I must tell you my time on this world is drawing to an end and if I do not help you soon I really do think it will all be in vain.
Help me to help you.
Yours,
Billy Bigelow